How we approach children with special needs!

At Unparalleled Gymnastics Academy we do not have special needs classes. Instead, we provide an environment within our classes that will support and nurture children with special needs. Therefore not requiring segregated classes.

Children with special needs such autism spectrum, ADHD, (just to name a few) or a physical disability, at times may need assistance staying on task and remaining with the group. Even children that are a level two or three support needs that may be non verbal, or non-ambulatory can be assimilated into a typical classroom setting with the right support. To achieve this, a family member such as a caretaker or childcare provider usually will remain in the class along with the special-needs child. The caretaker will assist the child physically preform the skills taught by the coach and a modified version of the skills will be offered for the child whenever necessary. If the child becomes  triggered, and needs some redirection or quiet time the caretaker and child may need to leave the classroom setting. Then return after a few minutes allowing them the time to de-escalate.

 Even if it takes dozens of times each class, eventually children usually require fewer and fewer moments of downtime and redirection. We will work with the caretaker to identify triggers and assist in either removing or minimizing the triggers that are causing the child’s overstimulation, as much as possible. Overtime, the goal is for the child to require less assistance from the caretaker. We achieve this by weekly consistency, implementing the coping skills or strategy that work specifically best for that child. This is a long-term goal, but doesn’t always happen and isn’t expected or required of the child to improve their coping skills, but it is our hope and our commitment.

Some of you may know that I have an autistic son. He is grown now living independently and is attending college full-time. I was unable to get him diagnosed until he was seven, although, I knew it was likely that my son had some type of neurodivergence by the time he was 3-4 years old.

This was over 20 years ago when I  was first trying to figure this all out. After seeing multiple doctors and having those pediatricians imply that my child’s behavior was more about environment than it was anything else. I found myself feeling very alone in the process of diagnosing, treating, and raising a special needs child.

Luckily, when Cole was seven years old, he had an elementary school principal that asked to speak with me one day. I dreaded what she could possibly want to talk to me about. If this were a usual day with the schools principal it would be a discussion regarding Cole‘s behavior, his outbursts, and his difficulty regulating emotion. Whatever events that had transpired that day, I would be sitting in agony over my sweet boy that no one else seemed to think was sweet!

This principal broached the subject about Cole potentially being on the spectrum. With years worth of bottled up feelings of isolation came spilling out of me. I spilled my concerns about Cole, his behavior, his needs, and my fears that as his mother I couldn’t get anyone that could help, to help us!

My tears poured out of me in front of this experienced, and compassionate educator. I was young, still in my 20s, with a toddler and a baby on the way, and filled with self doubt about how I could provide my special-needs child everything he needed to thrive. She kindly stood up and said “now you’ll have me, and the school department behind you, we will make them listen“. she meant it, and listen, they did.

Within a few months we had Cole fully diagnosed. We began the process of finding the right treatment, and we were on our way!

This memory has stuck with me, not just because it was the beginning of getting Cole the help he needed. But because of the kindness of this woman helped me see that sometimes that is all that a parent needs.

I find myself in a position similar as that elementary school principal. I am now the older woman, fielding questions from young mother’s, that are filled with uncertainty and sometimes tears.

It’s heartbreaking the challenges associated with finding activities for children with special needs. The resistance from society around assimilating children into every environment any other neurotypical child has available to them, is astounding.

I’m no longer the young uncertain mother, but a mother of a 25 year old man that loves education and has become somewhat of a career student. He went from barely being able to get through a school day, to a student that will probably make a career out of education.

Signing Cole up for Karate….

When Cole was four years old I took him to a karate school. It was probably the closest one in 40 miles from where we lived.  Cole entered the class and I sat in the parent waiting room wringing my hands over concern for Cole‘s behavior and how he would react to the new setting.

15 minutes into the class, the coach walked over as Cole ran ahead of him. The coach said as he stopped, maybe 15 feet away from me, loud enough for everyone to hear, “Yeah he doesn’t really wanna do this”! He was walking away as he said it.  The coach partly said that, because instead of standing still and keeping his hands to himself, which was a challenge for Cole, he was turning cartwheels and kicking people accidentally in his attempts to cartwheel. He couldn’t contain his excitement, him attempting to do his best cartwheel, was just his way of coping with this new overstimulating environment.

The most significant part of the story, to me, is that the instructor had no interest in working with my child. The Instructor didn’t even have enough consideration to speak to me privately so that every other child and adult in that gym and waiting room wouldn’t hear his unfair and premature assessment of my child. Cole was hard! I knew Cole was difficult to teach but I also knew that he deserved the opportunity to learn.

I know very well how busy a coach is when we’re in the middle of our peak operating hours and the middle of a class and the senior staff member that needs to make sure the the class is running smoothly. Therefore, I understood his need to return promptly to his class, but that fact did not justify him having zero patience for a child like Cole.

I cried all the way home, with my sunglasses and the music on so I could do my best to conceal my emotions from Cole and his baby sister. It may have been one of the single, most discouraging moments surrounding my pursuit to assimilate my child into  the rest of the world, I had experienced upto that moment. I was determined to give him all the tools to reach his full potential. It was one of the greatest displays of the challenges and stigma that we would have to battle to ensure Cole got the same opportunities as every other child.

I remember the stares from other portents at T-ball, the grocery store, school class trips, and pretty much everywhere we would go. At a restaurant when Cole needed to sit under the table with his toys or game wearing his heavy coat and his hood up, to help him with the overstimulation of the atmosphere. We were met with the judgment of other’s every time. Until, I learned to tune out all the noise of strangers and commit myself to the business of raising this child.

The disapproving looks of irritation others would give whenever around Cole was one of the hardest parts to overcome when I first started this journey. I never could decide if it was disgust on their faces because of my disabled child or the incompetence, they believed I had as a mother that caused my child to behave this way. Regardless of their exact motivation, the end result was still the same. It was judgment at a time when I needed support.

I decided Cole was not “disabled”but “differently abled” he wasn’t less able, his abilities and strengths were magnified in some areas and decreased in others.  He was reading on a college level in the second grade but having to brush his teeth would trigger a full melt down. We decided to focus on his strengths, the super hero powers rather than the kryptonite. I decided even though he’d struggle and have delays he could do anything he tried hard enough, long enough at.

Being the mother of a disabled child and adult has brought me to where I am today. 

It is why I am passionate about Autism and the needs and rights of children with disabilities. 

~ Coach Cris